Of Chivalry and the Proper Chicken Salad

The arrival of the latest Southern Living in our mailboxes is certainly cause for celebration. It may sound as though we are in great need of entertainment. This is not the case. Southern Living is a virtual treasure trove of recipes, gardening, and decorating ideas. As we share a great appreciation for all things Southern, this serves as our monthly handbook.


The Southern Journal column has improved greatly in recent months. One article on the art of the Southern casserole was particularly entertaining. When the latest issue arrived today, sister found a long overdue column on what a woman should expect from a man. Thank you, Amy Bickers. We appreciate her efforts to keep chivalry alive and well. For those men out there (and ladies) we'll review these guidelines in a second. We're not sure if this is actually legal, but seeing as we're giving Amy Bickers the credit we think we're ok. But just in case, if you are a Southern Living subscriber, please turn to this article in the July issue on page 136 and enjoy. If not, go out and buy yourself a couple dozen copies. We're just giving you the Cliff's Notes version anyway.


1. Stand up for a lady. Actually, this doesn't just involve chairs.

2. Know that the SEC has the best football teams in the nation. Big 12 fan? Hmm, perhaps you should keep walking.

3. Kill Bugs. Delta Burke as Southern belle Suzanne Sugarbaker on Designing Women said, "...Ya know, when men use Women's Liberation as an excuse not to kill bugs for you. Oh, I just hate that! I don't care what anybody says, I think the man should have to kill the bug!"

4. Hold Doors Open.

5. Fix Things or Build Stuff. I once watched in awe as my stepfather built a front porch on the house he shares with my mother. He knew just what to do, cutting every notch, hammering every nail. The project was complete by sunset.

6. Wear Boots Occasionally. Not the fancy, I-paid-$1,000-for-these kind. We're talking about the slightly mud-crusted, I-could-have-just-come-from-the-field boots.

7. Take Off Your Hat Inside.

8. Grill Stuff.

9. Call Us. If you want to ask us out, don't text and don't email. Pick up the phone and use your voice.

10. Stand When We Come Back to the Dinner Table. "Just a little half-stand is enough to make me melt," my friend Stephanie says.

11. Pull Out Our Chairs. Wait, that's not all. Scoot them back in before we hit the floor.

12. Pay The Tab on the First Few Dates. "If you ask me out, you pay, "Stephanie says. "If I ask you out, you should still pay." Listen, guys, it's just simpler this way.

13. Don't Show Up in a Wrinkled, Untucked Shirt. Care about your appearance, but not too much. Don't smell better than we do. Don't use mousse or gel. You shouldn't look like you spend more time in front of the mirror than we do.

14. Never Get in Bar Fights. Patrick Swayze might look cool in Road House, but in reality, bar fights are stupid and embarrassing. You don't look tough. You look like an idiot.

15. Know How to Mix Our Favorite Cocktail Just The Way We Like It. Fix your favorite, too. Sit down on the porch (it's okay if you didn't build it), tell us how your day went, and we'll tell you about ours.

Thanks again, Amy. Good work. And any Southern lady that says she doesn't agree with this, well, she probably puts dark meat in her chicken salad. So let's just go ahead and help her out. This is a food blog after all.

4-6 chicken breasts, cooked and chopped

1/2 cup real mayo, or more if you like to keep your weight up

1/2 cup sour cream

1 cup chopped celery

2 tablespoons grated onion

garlic powder and salt to taste

generous serving of freshly cracked black pepper

and if you must, just optional...1/2 cup chopped toasted pecans and/or 1 cup sliced purple grapes

Now we're not saying there isn't a time and a place for dark meat. Who doesn't love a good 'ol fried chicken drumstick (preferably soaked in buttermilk and Texas Pete before frying), but that's another post...